My final post- summing it all up

    Even though this blog was a bit of a fluke, I feel the need to finish it off properly. My time here in Budapest has taught me so much about myself and about the world. I have learned that I take life far too seriously and that I need to lighten up. I have reestablished my love for math, although I know feel confidently that it is not something I would like to pursue a career in. I love the puzzles of math, the quirky little problems that take real creativity to figure out, not the proof based math that makes up the majority of advanced mathematics. I have learned a lot about how I can apply math to anthropology, and have focused on what my real interest in upper level math is: set theory. I intend to pursue other classes on this topic and attempt to find ways to apply it to my real passion: anthropology. I have become so thankful for my amazing friends and family back home. I miss them so much, especially my boyfriend Dante. I cannot wait to be back to see you all again.

   I have learned a lot about Hungary. It is a poor country, with a sad history, but the people always seem to make the best of things. They are hard working and caring people. I am proud to call myself at least a little bit Hungarian (my grandma's family is from Hungary). I am so happy that I visited this country, because it again made me realize what else is out there in the rest of the world that I know so little about. I didn't even know where Hungary was before this (somewhere in Asia was what I thought), but now I consider it like a second home. If I were offered the chance to return, I would take it up (if I could bring at least one person from home with me).

   I have learned a lot about the rest of the world. I have learned that the states are pretty well off in terms of food, income, and poverty, but that it is so screwed up in many other ways. Although politics are not that great in Hungary, change is constantly being made to become a more established country and make up for what happened in WWII (Hungary fought with Germany and was horribly destroyed in the process). There are so many issues in the states that we just accept as normal because we've grown accustomed to them. The Connecticut shooting has been a grave reminder that more needs to be done with respects to safety and mental health. More also needs to be done with respects to pollution, our negative effects on the rest of the world, our economy, and our politics. It astounds me how many American products there are in Budapest. Sometimes it feels like there are more American products here than there are in America! Also, did you know that of almost every (all but one) of the English speaking Hungarians I talked to said that they wanted to get out of Hungary? You know where they wanted to move to? Australia or London. NONE said to the United States. It's a sad realization to me that even though the US has a huge influence on the rest of the world, none of the people I talked to saw it as a positive enough one to convince them to move there. We do not have the positive reputation to the rest of the world that we think we do. I think that has long since passed.

   Overall, I am happy that I did this program. I have grown in many ways, and I have learned a lot about myself. I have met many great people, and grown to love a city that I had previously known nothing about. Thank you for reading my blog, and for making this trip possible. I will see you all soon, and I wish you all a Merry Christmas!

Some things I will miss about Budapest: the gyros (especially the white sauce and chicken gyros [even though I eat them so often that I can barely stand them anymore]), the great public transportation, the Danube (river), the ruin bars, the thermal baths, my roommates, my friends, my professors, my set and mps classes, being in a city, and many many other things.

Things I will not miss about Budapest: my horribly uncomfortable mattress, power adapters, not having wifi (I will never complain about Lawence's wifi again), the disgusting sidewalks, and the many poor, sad faces I see begging on the streets daily.

Things I do not look forward to about the states: pennies (why in the world do we still use those?!), clothes dryers (they are so wasteful and unnecessary!), the politics, driving, and being so far away from everything (I'm gonna miss being able to get literally anything I want in Budapest within 30 minutes).

Things I cannot wait for at home: my boyfriend, my three great pitbulls, my family, my great friends, real meat! (not the crappy stuff you get here), gluten free pizza, boston creme donuts, hamburger helper, Taco Bell, wild cherry Pepsi, and Lawrence. Wow... I just sounded like such an American. Well, I am one, so I guess that's not too bad. Now, I'm just a much more appreciative and mature American who is really going to miss her second home, but is very excited to go back to her first.

Thanks for following,

Chela

Mosbach

That last post was much longer than I had intended, so this one may be shorter... or I may get into writing it and it'll be just as long.

This past weekend (the 16^th -18^th of November), I went to visit my cousin Janet and her husband Henrik in Mosbach, Germany- a small town between Stuttgart and Frankfurt. I have not been able to spend much time with either since I was a little kid because they are about ten years older than me and have been living a lot of the past 5+ years in Europe. I was there for their wedding, but never really got to know Henrik. I have never really gotten to know Janet that well either. The age gap between her and I was/is huge and I simply could not relate to a lot of what she was doing. After my visit to Mosbach, though, I feel much closer to both of them. Henrik is a great guy who really cares for my cousin. They both seem very happy in their little town working for OM (http://www.om.org/), and I am so happy for both of them.

The actual traveling in my trip was very long and hectic- consisting of multiple trains/ buses to the airport, the plane, and then even more trains to Mosbach. On the way home, I missed my train, and had to rush to buy another ticket. Even with all of this, the weekend overall was very calm and relaxing. The first night there we had an amazing dinner using this grill called a Raclette (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raclette). We had beef, chicken, sausage, corn, pineapple, tomatoes, potatoes, onions, many different types of cheese, and so much more. We chose what we wanted, put it in this little pan, covered it with cheese and backed in on the Raclette until it was done. It was delicious! I haven't eaten that much meat in a long time! (Meat in Budapest is expensive and not of the best quality) We then stay up talking and watched Anastasia- one of my favorite Disney movies.

The next day, we walked around the town and saw the market place. The town really looked like it had just popped out of a fairy tale. All of the buildings looked like gingerbread homes. I bought a couple gifts for friends, post cards for my collection, and a pomegranate (lol, I know. In Germany? They looked so good, and they are never good in Budapest). We came home, ate lunch, and tried to make plans for the day. There really wasn't much to do around, and the closest castle would be closed before we could reach it, so we went for a walk, and on the way visited an UGLY furniture store (it was like four stories tall, mustard yellow, with a picture of what looked like the Serre's Tower on it- such an eyesore) and stopped to pick up a board game, Quirkle, and some gluten free muffin mix. We came home, played Quirkle, baked some muffins, ordered some thai dinner, talked, watched a movie, and relaxed. It incredible. I have not been able to relax like that in a long time.

I left around one on Sunday, after breakfast, a short hike and dinner with the family. Henrik has really become a part of the family in my mind. He is just like another cousin now, and I'm so happy to have gotten to know both him and Janet better. On the train ride home, I actually passed the castle we were suppose to go and see, as well as like four others. The views were stunning, and the people were all very sweet. I never thought of it before, but maybe I will consider living in Germany in the future. Everyone seemed very happy and it is a beautiful country. Who knows? It's possible.

See! That was shorter! :P The next blog will be a math based one... but I'm gonna take a break for now. Maybe a nap is in order. I love you all, and miss you dearly. I look forward to coming home and seeing you all again for the Christmas season and with school starting up. Take care!

Catch up

Once again, I apologize for not keeping up on posting my blogs. Because of this, and because I have so much to catch you all up on, I will be writing a few shorter blogs. To save data, I will not be posting photos to this blog, but only to my facebook account, so please check them out there.

Since the last time I posted, life has been a rollercoaster. There have been so many ups and downs: break ups and reunions, new friends and lost friends, family seen and friends missed, good grades and bad, and so much more. I have managed not to horribly hurt myself once again, and even brought up the nerve to return to the baths where I had fallen previously. I have visited my cousin Janet and her Husband in Mosbach, Germany, gone boldering, watched my new favorite movie How to Train Your Dragon, met a new close friend Chris and have gotten closer to others. Throughout all of this, I have horribly missed home and desperately wished to return, but I have still managed to have a great time and enjoy my time in Budapest. I only have one month left, and I intend to make the most of it (while in the back of my mind I will be counting down the days to my return).

For my first blog post, I'd like to talk to you about my new friend Chris. I met him about two weeks ago, and he is an amazing person. He is a friend of another girl in the program and came to visit her for an extended time period. You see, Chris does not work, he does not go to school, but at the same time he makes enough money to survive and I know that he has much more world knowledge than I do. Chris travels. He dropped out of college and flew to Europe with what he had left in savings plus a little help from family. He volunteers at hostels and farms when he can and gets paid with a roof over his head and some food. He has been bouncing around between many different countries since January, and I was lucky enough to get to know him while both him and I were here in Budapest. I am very lucky to have met him.

Chris is an amazing person. He truly does not care what others think of him, and he tries to help his friends feel the same way. He is comfortable taking risks if need be, he's comfortable sleeping on the streets if he cannot find a bed; he's comfortable sleeping at the homes of complete strangers because he knows by the next day that they will no longer be strangers; he hitches rides all across the country- he blows my mind with what he can do. Thing is, he rarely needs to go out of the comfort zone of most people (as long as you're okay with hitching rides). He plans ahead where he will sleep and if he feels that he has overdone his welcome, he finds somewhere else to stay. He tries to hitchhike in groups or take transit when he can. He rarely sleeps without a roof over his head because his friends simply will not let him. The stories the can tell by letting him stay with him more than cover any expenses he may cause them. He is such a charismatic person, that after a few hours of talking, many people want to travel with him, let him sleep at their place, or even cook him a meal: he feels like an old friend.

I know that some of you may be shaking you head right now thinking, “he's a con, he's a fraud, he just wants into your house to steal your things”, but I promise you that is not what he is. He has been in Budapest for around a month now, and he has done nothing but good. He has introduced myself and others to different ways of living, made us less likely to judge others for the way the look or for their lack of the traditional “needs and expectations”, told us many stories of his travels, introduced us to different bands in the area and stalls that although we have been here for months, he could find in days, ...he has made all of us better people.

For me, Chris has done a lot. He sat down with me for dinner on one of my hardest days here in Budapest. He sat and listened to me, at times questioning me in such a way that made me really fight for my beliefs and cement them into my mind, at others he simply sat and listened. When he did give advice, you could tell that he had really thought it through, and always with the pretext that he knows that it's still my decision, not his. He has done more than I can list on this post. He is an amazing person in so many ways. He has really helped me enjoy my time here in Budapest, and although he leaves the city shortly, I know that I will see him again in the future. We will be friends for a long time. We'll be those friends who rarely talk, rarely see each other, but when they do, it's like old times again. Who would have expected that one of my closest friends here wouldn't be in the program and wouldn't be Hungarian, but a traveling American? I wouldn't have expected it, but if someone had told me that it would happen, I'd smile and say “I look forward to it”. I really have been so lucky to get to know Chris, and I will miss him, but we will work hard to keep in touch.

If any of you ever get a call from me telling you that I need you to do a favor for me and my friend Chris, now you'll know who I'm talking about, and I really do hope that you'll take that favor up. I know that you won't regret it.

Math post: Probability

Here is a long needed mathematics blog post. This weeks subject is Probability and the question is as follows:

Suppose that a biased coin that lands on heads with probability p is flipped 10 times. Given that a total number of 6 heads result, find the conditional probability that the first 3 outcomes are

(a) h,t,t (meaning that the first flip is a head, the second is a tail, and the third is tails)

(b) t,h,t

Answers:

(a) We will have to know one formula to calculate these probabilities, as well as some basic knowledge on summations and the choose function. The needed formula is P(A|B)= P(AB)/P(B). This reads as the probability of an event A given B is equal to the probability of A and B both occurring over the probability of B occuring.

Thus for (a), we are trying to find P(H,T,T|6 Heads). We have:

P(H,T,T|6 Heads)= P(H,T,T and 6 heads)/ P(6 heads)

=P(H,T,T)*P(6 heads |H,T,T)/ P(6 heads)

since P(6 heads|H,T,T)= P( H,T,T and 6 heads)/ P(H,T,T) implies that P( H,T,T and 6 heads)=P(6 heads|H,T,T)* P(H,T,T)

= (p*(1-p)*(1-p))* (7 choose 5)*p^5*(1-p)^2) / (10 choose 6)*p^6*(1-p)^4

The logic in this is first give the probability of H,T,T. That is give the probability of flipping heads (p) times the probability of flipping tails twice (1-p)(1-p). (from now on I will write q for 1-p) Thus we have P(H,T,T). Then we must solve for P(6 heads |H,T,T). Think about how many ways the other five heads can be given if we have already been give one. We have already done three of the ten flips, so we have seven more and we need to get exactly five heads in those flips. Thus we get the (7 choose 5). We then need the probability of getting exactly 5 heads and 2 tails: p^5*p^2. Thus we have the probability of P(6 heads |H,T,T). For the probability of 6 heads we use the same logic as before but now no flips have been used, so we have ten flips to land 6 heads. There are (10 choose 6) ways of doing this. We then consider the probability of this occurring. This is p^6*q^4.

We thus receive the equation:

=(p(q)(q)(7 choose 5)(p^5)(q^2))/ ((10 choose 6)(p^6)(q^4))

=((p^6)(q^4)(7 choose 5))/ ((p^6)(q^4)(10 choose 6)) by combining the p's and q's (remember (x^a)(x^b)=(x^(a+b)))

=(7 choose 5)/ (10 choose 6)

=21/210 (calculator or (n choose i)= (n!/ (n-i)!(i!)) where n!= n(n-1)(n-2)...*2*1 ¹)

=1/10

(b) P(T,H,T| 6 heads)= P(T,H,T and 6 heads)/ P(6 heads)

=P(T,H,T)*P(6 heads| T,H,T)/ (P(6 heads))

=((q^2)(p)(7 choose 5)(p^5)(q^2))/ ((10 choose 7)(p^6)(q^4))

=((p^6)(q^4)(7 choose 5))/ ((p^6)(q^4)(10 choose 6))

=(7 choose 5)/ (10 choose 6)

=21/210

=1/10

¹ (7 choose 5) = 7!/ (2!)(5!)= (7*6*5*4*3*2*1)/ (2*1)( 5*4*3*2*1)= 7*6/ 2= 42/2=21

(10 choose 6)= 10!/ (4!)(6!)= (10*9*8*7)/ (4*3*2*1)= 5040/ 24=210

I hope that you enjoyed this. The next post will be a cultural one. I hope to be posting math based posts at a higher rate in the future, so for those who are interested "Yay!", for others... sorry, but I hope it makes you feel better that I am able to understand the material better if I work to break it down for you, so please let me know if you need any thing else explained in more detail. 

Barcelona, Spain!

 I have just returned from an amazing weekend in Barcelona, Spain. The weekend consisted of many things from visiting sites like Sagrada Familia, Parc Guell (both designed by Gaudi), the old city (El Gothic), Fira de Barcelona-Montjuic, Torre Agbar, the old Olympic stadium, eating tapas, getting to know many great people in our hostel, visiting the beach (and the clubs), and much more. It was a very busy weekend, and although the weather did not seem to agree with us, we all (Sheri my roomamte, Sara our friend, and myself) had an amazing time.

Us at El Gato Negro

The first day in Barcelona was pretty hectic seeing as we arrived on Friday after noon. We all had attended classes Friday morning and then rushed to the airport to catch our flight. The flight was quick although fairly stressful. I usually am pretty comfortable with flying, but something about this flight made me very nervous. I think it may have been that I was flying with Ryanair, a flying service that I had never really heard much about it terms of reliability. Before take off I read every emergency procedures product I could get my hands on and managed to tear my nails apart pretty badly. A bit of a bumpy take off made me really regret giving up my window seat (I prefer to watch the takeoff than just feel it). Once we had settled down, I read through a magazine that the flight attendant had given me and had some good conversation with a group of people that were from Barcelona. I asked them how they liked Budapest, and they gave me a long list of things to do while in Barcelona. 

My marshmallow drink at El Gato Negro

Upon arriving, we unpacked, grabbed some food at a local buffet and headed out to a bar called El Gato Negro (The Black Cat). There the environment was great. Many of the drinks consisted of fire tricks. For example, one that a nice guy bought for me (who also happened to be gluten intolerant) consisted of spraying the counter with alcohol, lighting it, us toasting marshmallows over the fire and then dipping them into our very sweet drinks and eating them along with the rest of the drink. It was unbelievably good. My friends and I then bought a litter of Sex on the Beach to share as we hung out with the guys some more. They were very sweet, but we left shortly after they did to head to bed to get sleep for the long day ahead.

What the finished Sagrada Familia
 should look like

The next day was much more exciting. It consisted of visiting Sagrada Familia and Park Guell. Sagrada Familia is a very large church that has been under construction for over 100 years now and it still has much more time until it will be finished. It consisted of four large towers (with the fifth largest under construction), many arches, images of people, war scenes, Christmas trees, and much more. It was not opened on the day that we visited to enter, but we did spend much time inside the shop. I bought multiple post cards (I have been collected them from everywhere I go) and a small Gaudi designed turtle. 

Torre AGBAR

We also visiting Torre AGBAR, which can only really be described as a large phallic object. We did not know at that point that the tower lit up and that we should have visited at night. We then went to Park Guell (and got lost along the way) which is a large park outside that was also designed by Gaudi. It took us over two hours to reach Park Guell because it is located in the outskirts of the city and we managed to get lost multiple times. Gaudi had lived in Park Guell when he was in his twenties. The park consisted of many outdoor paths and natural looking constructions. There were also many mosaic and metal pieces placed throughout the park. There was an amazing panoramic view of the city from the top of Park Guell. After visiting Park Guell, my friends and I went back to the hostel where we relaxed for a little while (I took a nap) and then we headed out once again to meet some other friend from BSM. We all met up at this great meat restaurant where you could order many different types of meats and cheeses for fairly inexpensive prices. I got a plate of sausage, some cheese, and a very good glass of wine (wine is starting to grow on me here) for only 7 euros (about 11 USD). We then walked with them through a little shop area and sat with our vegetarian friend while she ate a pizza from a nearby restaurant. We then split as my group went to go see the clubs by the ocean and the other group went to check out some more bars. 

Me at Park Guell

One of Gaudi's most recognized pieces

Upon arriving at the club area we realized that we were there far too early so we went and walked along the ocean and talked some. We then went to search for any clubs that may be starting early. There were none. The area was completely deserted. Even though we knew that if we stayed longer that we'd be lost without a way home besides taking a cab, we decided to stay and wait things out. An hour passed before anything started to start up a bit, but even then all of the parties were private preparties that we were not allowed to enter. So, we sat out in the rain for another hour or so until things started to get going more (it was about 12:30 at this point). We bounced between some bars but no one was dancing and most were completely empty. Finally we found a place to dance, but after a while we realized that the music was not very good and that most of the people there were left over from the preparties. We all felt a bit out of place (or at least I did) and decided to leave. After trying desperately to find any other open bars, we finally decided to cut our loses and head home early. It was rather disappointing to not be able to experience that Barcelona night life, but honestly it probably would have cost too much and required us to stay out far too late for it to have been worth it.

The next morning we all slept in a little and then headed out to Fira de Barcelona-Montjuic. This was an area with many interesting pieces of architecture. There were two towers that looked like they may have at one time formed a gate, multiple fountains, a row of four white columns, and finally the castle which has now been converted into an art museum. We walked around for a long time taking pictures and admiring the wonderful view from the top of the castle. The weather was perfect. We then decided to continue up the stairs where we found a botanical garden and the old buildings from the 1992 Olympics. There was a small festival going on for little kids, so we walked around some and then headed down and back home. We rested a little and then headed back out for a walking tour of the old city. It was free, and surprisingly it ended up only being my friends and I who attended. The tour guide was very friendly and knowledgeable. We visited many churches and learned much about the Catalonia region and the history of Barcelona in their fight for independence.

Catalonia is a region older than Spain that has fought for its independence from many different rulers (Muslims, French, Roman, Spanish, and many others) for many years. They have not, however, really ever been successful. Currently Catalonia is fighting for its independence from Spain because it is one of the richer areas and because Spain is currently in a very tough economic time much of Catalonia is supporting the rest of the city. This area even speaks its own language, Catalan, and has its own flag. The history of Catalonia is very interesting and I highly recommend looking into it.

For dinner we all went to get tapas (a requirement while visiting Spain). My friends both got the six tapas sampler and I got three different tapas- patatas bravas, a chorizo and potato dish, and a chickpea and baby shrimp fritter. All of it was unbelievably delicious, but I must admit that the shrimp fritter was my favorite (a surprise seeing as I am not normally a shrimp fan- another thing that must be growing on me). The waitress was very sweet and I had multiple conversations with her in Spanish. After finishing we had intended to go see two light shows, one that the tourguide had suggested and then the Torre AGBAR lit up, but that turned out to not be what the night had intended for us.

Then a very interesting story began. We all headed towards the metro, but then we entered the wrong side of the station and had to switch over. Because we had already swiped our cards, the machines would not let us enter so I called a security guard over to help us. I was talking to him and upon turning around I noticed a man trying standing behind my friend Sara and her bag was open. Within a few seconds I recognized what he had been trying to do and well... I went into defensive mode. I said a loud “Uh!” and stepped towards him forcefully with a very sharp look on my face. Sara's face went white in fear as she did not realize what was happening. The man immediately froze and held out his book bag to me saying in Spanish that he didn't take anything. The security guard rushed over and began to check his bag asking my friend in Spanish “Tienes todo?” (Do you have everything?) which she did not understand. She did not realize what was happening and for what felt like a minute she fumbled with her bag saying “Yeah, I think so” as I prompted her to keep checking. Finally she agreed that she had everything as the metro pulled up. I told the guard that she had everything and to please let us through. He did and we rushed to catch the metro. It was very stressful and I scolded Sara because Sheri and I had been telling her all weekend to carry her purse in front of her yet she kept failing to do so. It really does amaze me how unaware some people can be of their environments. She really got lucky to have not lost anything, and I'm glad that I know how to handle myself in that sort of situation (thanks dad <3 ).

Church during the tour of the Old City

We left the metro and within a few minutes it began to pour rain. We ran to the nearest covering and stayed there to decide what we were going to do. The light shows were now out of the picture, so we decided to rush back to the metro and head back to our hostel. We rushed through the rain and, luckily, did not have any other incidents while entering the metro. We arrived home and the rain had stopped. We waited for a short time to dry off and gather our umbrellas and then we headed out to find Sara a crepe and Sheri and I maybe some ice cream. I found this little shop that had both and actually also had gluten free cones. I ordered my first ice cream cone in probably three years now with two scoops- dulce de leche and a cinnamon meringue. It was absolutely delicious and was an amazing way to end the trip.

Another church during our tour

Even though everything did not work out perfectly for this trip, I still have a great time in Barcelona. Visiting the city really opened up my mind to maybe living in Europe in the future. I love that I got to practice my Spanish because, for me, speaking Spanish is one of the greatest thrills. I got so many compliments and had some amazing conversations. Every day I get better and better. I feel like a bit of a different person when I speak Spanish. I feel much more mature and happier. I would love to return to Barcelona some day, maybe when its a bit warmer so that we can visit the beach. If the economy picks up there maybe I could even consider it for more than just a visit but as a future home.

I hope that you enjoyed this blog on my trip to Spain. There will be another math post tomorrow. Pictures will be posted on my Facebook account that you should all be able to see. If we are not friends, then we should change that. <3

Week of hell

So this past week for me has been a roller coaster. I began the week with being unbelievably stressed because I has spent the previous Friday and Saturday in Szeged (the third longest city in Hungary) at a lecture and visiting the city, and then I spent Saturday night at the Sausage and Palinka festival at Buda castle. It was an amazing two days, but because I was so busy, I had little time to rest nor to work on the multiple homework assignments I had nor to study for my two exams. Because of this, I ended up feeling very behind and stressed on Sunday and Monday. I also had been having a very hard time adjusting to the amazing levels of intelligence of the group of students at this program. So many of them are in far more classes than me and many seem to enjoy constantly thinking of math. They remind me of how I used to be.

When I was in high school, I adored math. It was probably my favorite thing in the world, with Mexican culture being its only competitor. I was in math team and absolutely loved it. Practice was always the highlight of my day. But ever since coming to college and taking multivariate calculus (which I hated), my love for math has continued to decline. I have found myself thinking in a much more qualitative manner, and ideas that previously would have been simple for me to grasp have become extremely difficult. I have had to fight for every grade, and the main reason I have continued math, and why I decided to attend this program, was the hope that maybe I would reacquire my love for math. In many ways, I have. I love the challenge that is math. I love the different way of thinking that I know many people cannot grasp. I love the fun little tricks to solving extremely complex problems. I love all of that... but I have found that upper level math is nothing like calculus and the “math” that most people think of. Proof writing, such abstract ideas, and complex theorems that as common in higher level math have never caused as much excitement in me as concrete math with actual numbers. Even considering this, I have really enjoyed my time here studying set theory, graph theory, probability, and MPS. Even with the extremely frustrating problems and long nights, I have begun to love math again. This week, however, has made me question that love again.

Because I was so far behind at the beginning of this week, the rest of the week as been a crazy race to catch up. Tuesday I was up late working on graph theory (for Thursday) and set theory (for Wednesday). Because of this, I had little time to study for my MPS test (Wednesday) that I had assumed would be a breeze. You know the saying that assuming with make and ass out of you and me? Well, I don't know about you, but it made a huge ass out of me. I did much worse on the MPS exam that I had expected. Come test time, many of the processes that I had learned flew out of my mind, and I resorted to very long and drawn out attempts to answer any question I could. I am very lucky that point received on homework goes towards the exams as “extra credit”, because without that I would probably have failed this exam. Even with it, I will be lucky to get a B. Wednesday, after class, I was again up late working on my graph theory homework. That left me only Thursday to finish my probability problem set and to study for my probability exam. I was up late, but come time for the exam, my problem set was complete and I was feeling confident. I had memorized all of the theorems, done all of the sample problem tests from the book, reread my notes, and looked over my previous homework. I thought that nothing would surprise me. Again, I was wrong. The test was based on two problems. One was very similar to many problems we have done before, and I did fairly well on that one, but the other was a very complex expansion on a type of problem that we had only done once before and in a much simpler form. This problem asked for the number of ways that one could get from the origin (0,0,0) to the point (10,11,12) while one is only allowed to move in a positive direction (right, forward, or up). The other problem we had done was “how many ways can you get from (0,0) to (4,3) if you can only move right or up?”. In this problem, I had simply written out all of the possibilities and counted them up. It was a simple grid so I could do that. In the problem on the test however, there was no way for me to do that. There were just too many possibilities- somewhere in the ten thousands. The problem had 5 parts and all of them required the answer from the first which I could not figure out for the life of me. A combination of frustration and a lack of work space made me panic, and I have no confidence in my test results. The only comfort I have is that many other people seemed to be struggling as well, so if I'm lucky, maybe the professor with curve the test. I can only wait and see.

A combination of the frustration with my work, my test results, the realization that I really am no longer the math nerd that I used to be (and was proud of), an extreme missing of my friends and family from back home, and multiple fights with multiple people have made this week a living hell. I have no clue how I did on either of my exams, and I can only hope that I passed both. If I didn't, then I may need to drop or audit a class which will horribly affect my ability to graduate early. At this point though, everything is behind me and there is nothing that I can do about it. I am realizing (with the help of my amazing boyfriend Dante) that not graduating early really won't be the end of the world and that I put far too much pressure on myself (and others) with regards to school. At this point, I can only accept that this has been a very hard week, but that I have made it through it. Hopefully, the ones ahead will be easier. If not, then I'm sure that since I made it through this one that I can make it through the others. Or I can hope...

I'm sorry for such a depressing post this week, but this is suppose to give you a taste of my life abroad, and I feel that not sharing the negatives with you would be an insult to those of you who honestly want to know how I'm doing. At this point, I'm not doing too well. I am however, still very much enjoying my classes and my time abroad. I have learned about myself by being here, and I only expect to learn more. I will be okay, and I am not in any way giving up. I will not drop any of my classes until the very end and I will fight to pass all of them.  

Life on the Danube

Classes are going really well. I'm really starting to love the subject of mathematics a lot more. The professors here are all great and very enthusiastic. I definitely don't think that this is going to stop me from pursuing anthroplogy for grad school, but it does open up my eyes to how I can use mathematics in the field of anthropology, and also that I may want to do some work with mathematics outside of anthropology in the future. I'm considering maybe also working as a tutor or a math team coach at a local highschool. I feel like there is a lot that I can do with my knowledge in mathematics as a second supporting job. 

I am really starting to fall in love with the city of Budapest. I have always felt as strong connection to rivers, and I love that the Danube runs right through Budapest (dividing the city into two cities, Buda and Pest). I love how close everything is, the great public transport, the wide variety of things to do (operas, bars, hookah bars, clubs, public baths, festivals, sites to see, places to work out/ run, zoos, etc) and all of it is fairly inexpensive! I don't know how realistic it is, but at some point in the future I would love to return to Budapest and possibly study the culture here more deeply. I will be keeping my eyes open for anthropological research projects that may involve Budapest in the future. 

One of my main tasks in visiting Hungary was to try and visit the town of Molidorf. This town no longer exists, but its ruins hold the remains of many of my ancestors. Molidorf was actually a German concentration camp in the years after WWII. I have read a lot about it from the site Molidorf.com. I think that it is important for me to visit Molidorf and honor my ancestors there, but sadly I do not think that this is possible. I have done much research on Molidorf and found that it is located in a very very small town on Serbia. The only way that I could make it down there would be to take a train to the border and then find someone to drive me from the border to Molidorf. This, however, seems very difficult. The price of having someone driving me the two hours there, stay with me during my visit for a couple hours, and then drive me back would cost me hundreds of dollars. I have also found that the ruins of Molidorf are located on an abandoned field, and the roads to access this field are hard and at times nonexistent. I would need a tractor or a large truck to be able to access the ruins. Entering Serbia would be very dangerous to me seeing as the US was at war with Serbia just ten years ago and there are still very negative feelings there towards Americans. Also, the field that I would be entering in wooded and used for hunting during this time of year. Because of that, I would be putting myself at high risk by both entering Serbia and by entering the field to visit the ruins. I have not completely rulled out all ways for me to enter Serbia, but at this point it's looking like it is very unlikely that I will be able to make it. With winter coming soon, my only real chance to make it during this trip is within the next few weeks. After that, the roads will become even more treacherous. I will be keeping my eyes open for any opportunity, but visiting Molidorf may have to be delayed to a later point in my life when maybe the situation has changed such that there are more ways to enter Molidorf during a different season of the year when hunting will not be such a large issue. 

I have really been enjoying my time here in Budapest. It has reminded me in many was that I am Hungarian and I should be proud of that. I have fallen in love with this city, and with this city I have begun to be more confident in myself and my heritage. Even though I have greatly enjoyed my time thus far, I must admit that I do really miss a lot of people from back home. I miss my boyfriend Dante so much that it's at times hard to bare. I miss my family and my friends. I miss being at Lawrence (my university). I miss american food and being able to cook more of the meals that I love so much. I miss my friends. I'm sad that I won't be able to see one of my closest friends Brian Kopas before he leaves to join the military on December 3rd. I'm sad that I'm missing the welcoming of all of the new students to Lawrence University- international and domestic. I'm missing so many events, like Michelle Obama coming and speaking at my university, many dances, and performances. I'm not an RLA (Resident Life Advisor) now because I'm here studying abroad. At times all of the things that I'm missing can really pull me down... but honestly I wouldn't change a thing. I love Budapest and I love this opportunity for me to be here and experience a different culture. I love my classes and my new friends here. I also remember that everything I'm missing now will be there when I return. My friends and family, Dante, the new students, more dances and performances, possibly being chosen to be an RLA again, etc. All of these opportunities will still be there when I return to the states and to Lawrence. Because of that, I'm going to work hard to not let these things pull me down and I'm going to make the best of my time here in Hungary. I know that things are just going to get harder, but that I am strong enough to make it through them. I'm really glad that I have you all reading this, and that I can type out my feelings to you guys. It would be nice to get a few comments every now and then guys =P. 

I love you all, and I miss you. I will be home shortly, and then I'll have so many more stories to tell you.